Well so much has happened the past couple of weeks but so little has moved on that I haven’t really known what to write about.
When I left you last I had quit my job and was full of excitement about what was to come. Unfortunately I have to give two months notice so I am still sat at my desk every day bored stiff and dreaming of the future until they release me in six weeks time.
My husband, who is an actor, has got a part in a play that is due to go on tour for three months in Dubai in a week’s time so we are spending as much time together as possible before he goes.
This has all left me in a state of limbo. So much is about to happen but none of it is happening yet. Everything is just the same as it always was but is all about to change. This makes me feel excited but also very nervous and apprehensive. Not only am I about to embark on a new career but I am now doing it on my own, really and truly on my own. Of course, with technology nowadays I will be able to see his face every day and we can speak and text when we like but I will not have him to curl up against every night.
Honestly though – I know that I will miss him very much but I am also quite looking forward to being alone. When we read we escape in to our own little world and hide there until it’s time to face reality again. I think writing is like this too. I will be able to write without guilt, without wanting to pop to the shops to get something nice for us to have for dinner, without the temptation to flop in front of the TV and eat ice cream….. well, the temptation will be lessened somewhat at least.
Some things are more fun when done with others; Eating, drinking, long walks. And some things are just better when you do them on your own; Reading a good book for instance. I personally can’t even have the radio on in the background when I read as I will be singing along in my head instead of reading what is on the page (I’m not the best at concentrating on two things at once or blocking out background noise). Besides, I’ve always been fine when it’s just myself for company.
When you create something from nothing you need to look inwards. I have an idea and I need to pull it up very gently from somewhere deep and put it on paper. I’ve never been one for gardening, but I see my story as a bit like a tree. Below the ground are all of the characters and the back story to each of them, then there’s the trunk which is the story that they tell, then you’ve got the leaves and the fruit or blossoms which give the story colour and make the reader feel things.
I’m working on the trunk at the moment but my roots aren’t deep enough and I’m already thinking about cherry blossom!
Maybe that’s OK….. I’ve not done this before so I don’t really know the right way to write a novel, if there is such thing as a right way to write a novel. In fact, I am learning that I don’t know very much about writing a book at all and sometimes that scares the hell out of me! But then I remember that this is supposed to be enjoyable. As long as I enjoy the process and I enjoy what I read back to myself then hopefully I am on the right track. We all want to escape sometimes, sometimes it’s what saves us, and to me, burying your head in a book is one of the best ways to do that. I hope that I can create an escape for someone, a tree that they can climb when the ground gets too hard.